Come through...

—Come through, Dr. Musk will see you now.

—I'm just here to interview him. Did you say Dr. Musk?

—Yes, come through. It's what the receptionist always said on that British TV show, Doc Martin. Come through.

—I think it was the doctor who said, 'Come through.' The receptionist said take a seat. I hate to ask again, but... Dr. Musk? I don't require any medical treatment.

—Of course you do. And before you come through, there are a few things you should know. Certain interview topics are off-limits.

—That's okay, I've come to talk primarily about the National Institutes of Health. The NIH?

—That's one of the topics. Nobody works there anymore. The building has been shuttered. What's your second choice?

—You said THE building. There are 75 buildings. There are like 6000 scientists working there. Who's doing that work?

—Most of them have been let go, but many have found other employment at some of the repurposed buildings. An entire facility has been converted to a gigantic laboratory where some IT people are working on a cure for measles.

—Don't we have a cure for measles?

—We did, but it didn't take. And the needle was scary. Plus it caused autism. Any idiot knows that.

—So I've heard.

—And once all the measles vaccine gets to the Grand Disposal Complex, autism will end. Did you want to see that building? It used to be the library.

—Maybe later. What about people who already suffer from autism? Is there research being done to help them?

—Research involves words we can't say anymore, and if you can't say them, what's the use of dealing with them?

—Words such as?

—Hah, you almost caught me. The previous receptionist got fired for just that reason. I really need this job. Dr. Musk says he's setting up a retirement fund for me in case Social Security disappears.

—Isn't he the one disappearing it?

—Because it's a potsy scheme.

—Ponzi.

—Are you sure? Dr. Musk knows a lot of things. He's going to Mars.

—Of course he is. When did Dr. Musk become a doctor?

—Dr. Kennedy anointed him.

—Anointed or appointed?

—Mr. Trump says they're synonyms now.

—He's the linguist. So Musk and RFK are pals? They probably went to med school together, maybe interned at the same hospital, had some ethnic connection.

—Don't say that.

—Don't say what?

—The e-word.

—Ethnic?

—I can neither confirm nor deny the possibility of hearing that.

—I thought exclusion and equity were the e-words.

—Hmmmmm. Hmmmmm. Hmmm. Hmmmmmm.

—You can stop blocking your ears now. Is there some bias against ethnic?

—Please stop; if Dr. Musk hears this, I'll be demoted to the big white building across the street.

—Is that the hospital adjunct?

—That's the CHD building—Children's Health Defiance.

—I think it's defense...although...

—Oh yeah. Just don't confuse it with the COD building where they do the same thing.

—Which is?

—Check Facebook for new cures., learn medical procedures on Truth Social...it's where they bottle cod liver oil. Interested in a gallon? I get a stipend every time I sell a jug. It will kill a measle instantly.

—A measle? How about a mump or a shingle?

—Sure. One jug or two?

—Not right now. What about research into cancer and heart disease? All stopped? AIDS. too?

—Don't make me block my ears again!

—But that's what the NIH did, right? Weren't there all kinds of research scientists working there? There may be a cure coming for Alzheimer's, ALS, even more.

—Those same researchers are doing great things in the COD filtering room. If you could see how clear that oil is when they're done. Sure you don't want any? There's a discount if...

—I'm sure. You know I don't think I need to interview the doctor after all. You've been very helpful.

—Could you sign off on that? I'm in line for a cabinet position and every good word helps.

—I'll shoot Dr. Musk an email.

—So you're not going to...you know...come through?

—No, I'm not.

—But it's what I say. I really enjoy it.

—Tell you what. What if you say it but I go through the door and out instead, will that work?

—I guess so. And the cod liver oil? Did I mention it's fortified with Vitamin A? And we have some hydroxychloroquine, also. Have you tried that in a smoothie?

—Will it kill a chickenpock?

—I can check. Don't forget the recommendation.

—I won't. And...go ahead...you can say it now.

—Oh, thank you. Come through.