Hey Trumpophiles—no hard feelings about your 2016 choice, but it's time to reboot.

To all those who voted for Trump in 2016 and who still believe he’s good for America, let me respectfully suggest a data cleanse.


You know what that is—you get rid of all the cruft you’ve accumulated on your laptop or phone—all those meaningless, poorly written, and memory-sapping apps you haven’t used in a good long time—though they sure looked pretty once...especially in that nice coifed hair and bright red tie.


After that, trash the files themselves—the ones you have no use for, never had any use for, and don’t even know you have.


For the Trump apologists, these files usually nest in folders with titles like the following:

  1. how Trump will make America great again,

  2. how Trump will end immigration problems,

  3. how Trump will defend the Constitution,

  4. how Trump will bring back the middle class,

  5. how Trump will use his business acumen to save America, and

  6. why Trump is the only one who can help us.

Those folders need to be overwritten with a Department of Defense overwrite. Seven passes. Or more.


Trash them all, files, folders, preferences, all. And this is the day to do it, because face it friend—we've scraped bottom: we're rooting for Michael Cohen for goodness sake—relishing the fact that someone as ethically challenged as he is has been bashing the president and exposing him as a common swindler. And we're loving it, even though we already knew it.


I don’t know how truthful Mr. Cohen has been or will be, or how genuine his remorse. If he hastens the downfall of Donald Trump, I will cheer, though not for Cohen. His reborn honesty may be commendable, but that quality is to be expected, not drawn out in drips and drabs and extolled as some sort of curiosity.


We’ve lost sight of so much of what defines this country that we’ve come to accept as normal a continuous spewing of presidential falsehoods punctuated by attacks on the Constitution, on law enforcement, on minorities, on women, and on our allies abroad. That data cleanse is necessary...right now.


Cleaning up a few spurious files is not enough: start dragging your false hopes and foolish misconceptions from 2016 right to the trash, then download a clean version of your personal operating system—the one coded from the Constitution— and get everything up and running. Finally, when 2020 comes—if we make it that far—don’t let in another virus.

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